I'm Getting Sick of Slavery

SLAVERY SLAVERY SLAVERY SLAVERY!!!!

That's all my American History professor talks about!! ALL!!! I realize that slavery was a huge part of early American History, BUT THERE IS SO MUCH MORE!

WHAT ABOUT THE DAMN INDIANS?!

It is on the blood of an ENTIRE race that America was built, and he has barely spoken about it!! Sure Blacks were slaves but at least they weren't MASSACRED. What of Ponce De' Leon? Salem Witch Trials? Mayflower Compact? The birth of PIRATES!!!

This is all because my professor is black.

And my whole class is black.

I demand a lawyer, I feel oppressed.

Shakespear... did I spell that right?

So-o-o-o-o-o-o-o,
I think I'm going to like Taming of the Shrew alot better than origonally intended. Who would have thought a Shakespeare class would be filled with controversy? Yeah, so anybody whose ever read more than one of Shakespeare's works are laughing at me, and those of you who have just read Romeo and Juliet I guess can relate to my shock.

So we basically have your side that is all for the treatment of Kate
and we have the one person who thinks her treatment was horrid.

And then there's me who see's both sides. God do I need a backbone.

So I can understand how P-dude's treatment of Kate was necissary and worked out for the better but I also see how it was cruel and never should have happened. But the truth is, "should" very rarely does happen. We all should behave accordingly and sweetly to one another, but passions, desires, tempers, pride, and a great number of other things gets in the way.

Another fun topic we came across was the stability of one's identity. Is it really something we are inherently born with or is conditioned by society?

So it got me thinking, what would I be if I wasn't a Christian?

I know plenty of non-Chrisitians out there who say they live by a set standard of morals and some do... but... I don't think I would. I think, if everything got thrown out the window...I would very much be one who lived according to my passions. Which I'm sure would make me a more interesting person, but still...

So saying that... who am I? If that is true... then is this person I try to be just a mask?

I hide my anger, hide my dissapointments, cover my shame, repress my desires, and lock away my curiosity.

Even though I don't want to... and it's hard.

But because I don't want to, because I want to live by my own laws....
does that make me a horrible person on the inside?

Rut

MMkay, so I'm in a rut.

I have this 'friend', who is in reality a very very very bad person.
And I no longer wish to see or have anything to do with this friend. But, I don't want to hurt their feelings, and so everytime they call me I always end up caving in and hanging out with them if only for an hour. But everytime I'm around this person, there's just this darkening in my soul. I feel horrible and sick for the next week...and my head hurts. >.> >.<

I've been ignoring them and hoping they will catch the hint and so far they haven't. So-o-o-o-o-o what should I do? Let me guess... talk to them! Tell them how you feel!

...

"All life is precious, so I can't say I hate you, but if I didn't have such strong beliefs I would. So please never talk to me again. Kay! Thnx! Bai!"

I don't think that is going to work.

The Hour Between Classes... (II)

Welcome back kiddos. Tuesday, Thursday class doesn't start till 3:30 so looks like we will have alot more time than an hour today. However, I have been called 'the lazy OCD' so I'm prolly only going to give you an hour and then bounce off and play with my myspace poke buddy.

Random fact: I have never been in love. Shock Shock. And I also like someone... shock shock... but it's forbidden. shock shock. NO IM NOT GAY! sheesh! It's just that I'm a Christian and he's not. *braces herself and prepares for the bashing awaiting her from her non-christian viewers*
Anyway, so... yeah. I love God and do not wish to fall out of his will, but... I'm also interested in this dude. Isn't the 'do not be unequally yolked' verse talking about marriage anyway? I'm not planning on marrying him. I'm just sick of being single and would like someone to hold hands with and go on dates with. I've never had that and think it would be schweet.

Not to mention I am EXTREMELY picky, and so finding a guy I'm actually interested in is a BIG surprise. He should feel special.

But I'm not going to worry about it.
Correction, I'm going to push it to the back of my mind, live my life at a reckless pace consumed in homework and school and then whenever I see him or close my eyes at night I'll let it slowly eat away at my soul.
>.<

Bad! Bad Lyndsey! No emo Lyndsey! No!

Mer.
Colors.

The Hour Between Classes...

College here I am... again.

So I found a way to pass the time between classes! Blogging!
Those looking for some deep intricate little ditty leave now, because as much described in my first blog I am a screaming chaotic mass of color.

First color Blue: It's raining. I love it like this when it's just a sprinkle. I love standing and dancing or just holding my arms out and letting it fall on me. When I am in it... I am at a wonderful happy peace, but being on the inside looking out, trapped in a required classroom or dorm room watching it cry makes me undeniably and awkwardly sad. For no reason too, weird.

Second color Red: LOVE FRIENDS! I have so many classes with so many of my friends I made last semester! It's like every time we see each other there is a [ third color ] bright yellow glow of happiness, like your are genuinely glad that you are within each other's grasp. It is the first time I have ever felt or seen this.

Fourth color BLACK: Highschool sucked. However, I don't think I am alone.

Fifth color Green: like my Shakespeare class, but will be lots of work. Lots and lots and lots and lots of work/reading. And will also force me to think deeply. rawr. How dare they. Enter self affliction [which is this spinning havoc of a mess in lead pencil].

Sixth color Pink: By the way, those buddy poke thingies on myspace. AMAZING. lurve to them muchness. I am now addicted, and hope beyond hope there was an option that let you save your past created costumes. Kawaii out the frame. [Because, of course I am taking notes during class]

Cheap Glitter and Safety Scissors

Sometimes, I feel like colorful scribbles on a blank white page.
I run and I say and I feel and I think and I love in bright colors but really serve no purpose. I am not some completed finished work to hang in a gallery... I am just some wild abstracted art composed of a bored and likely ADHD kindergardener who has yet to learn how to stay in the lines.

I wish to be like such elaborate and complicated masterpieces. Those that hang on the wall and is lit ever so dimly by the gallery’s lights. Those that the viewer stares in awe over or sits for a moment in divine contemplation or even whips out a notebook and attempts to mimic the wonder.

But no.

I am here on a crowded desk surrounded by cheap glitter and safety scissors. I laugh even as I type the words, not content in my condition but accepting of it. I have also been told that ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ and ‘all things are beautiful’. I ask, what could possibly be beautiful about me? Interesting, maybe; fun, sure!; appealing, slightly... but beautiful?

Beautiful...