Rut

MMkay, so I'm in a rut.

I have this 'friend', who is in reality a very very very bad person.
And I no longer wish to see or have anything to do with this friend. But, I don't want to hurt their feelings, and so everytime they call me I always end up caving in and hanging out with them if only for an hour. But everytime I'm around this person, there's just this darkening in my soul. I feel horrible and sick for the next week...and my head hurts. >.> >.<

I've been ignoring them and hoping they will catch the hint and so far they haven't. So-o-o-o-o-o what should I do? Let me guess... talk to them! Tell them how you feel!

...

"All life is precious, so I can't say I hate you, but if I didn't have such strong beliefs I would. So please never talk to me again. Kay! Thnx! Bai!"

I don't think that is going to work.

The Hour Between Classes... (II)

Welcome back kiddos. Tuesday, Thursday class doesn't start till 3:30 so looks like we will have alot more time than an hour today. However, I have been called 'the lazy OCD' so I'm prolly only going to give you an hour and then bounce off and play with my myspace poke buddy.

Random fact: I have never been in love. Shock Shock. And I also like someone... shock shock... but it's forbidden. shock shock. NO IM NOT GAY! sheesh! It's just that I'm a Christian and he's not. *braces herself and prepares for the bashing awaiting her from her non-christian viewers*
Anyway, so... yeah. I love God and do not wish to fall out of his will, but... I'm also interested in this dude. Isn't the 'do not be unequally yolked' verse talking about marriage anyway? I'm not planning on marrying him. I'm just sick of being single and would like someone to hold hands with and go on dates with. I've never had that and think it would be schweet.

Not to mention I am EXTREMELY picky, and so finding a guy I'm actually interested in is a BIG surprise. He should feel special.

But I'm not going to worry about it.
Correction, I'm going to push it to the back of my mind, live my life at a reckless pace consumed in homework and school and then whenever I see him or close my eyes at night I'll let it slowly eat away at my soul.
>.<

Bad! Bad Lyndsey! No emo Lyndsey! No!

Mer.
Colors.

The Hour Between Classes...

College here I am... again.

So I found a way to pass the time between classes! Blogging!
Those looking for some deep intricate little ditty leave now, because as much described in my first blog I am a screaming chaotic mass of color.

First color Blue: It's raining. I love it like this when it's just a sprinkle. I love standing and dancing or just holding my arms out and letting it fall on me. When I am in it... I am at a wonderful happy peace, but being on the inside looking out, trapped in a required classroom or dorm room watching it cry makes me undeniably and awkwardly sad. For no reason too, weird.

Second color Red: LOVE FRIENDS! I have so many classes with so many of my friends I made last semester! It's like every time we see each other there is a [ third color ] bright yellow glow of happiness, like your are genuinely glad that you are within each other's grasp. It is the first time I have ever felt or seen this.

Fourth color BLACK: Highschool sucked. However, I don't think I am alone.

Fifth color Green: like my Shakespeare class, but will be lots of work. Lots and lots and lots and lots of work/reading. And will also force me to think deeply. rawr. How dare they. Enter self affliction [which is this spinning havoc of a mess in lead pencil].

Sixth color Pink: By the way, those buddy poke thingies on myspace. AMAZING. lurve to them muchness. I am now addicted, and hope beyond hope there was an option that let you save your past created costumes. Kawaii out the frame. [Because, of course I am taking notes during class]

Cheap Glitter and Safety Scissors

Sometimes, I feel like colorful scribbles on a blank white page.
I run and I say and I feel and I think and I love in bright colors but really serve no purpose. I am not some completed finished work to hang in a gallery... I am just some wild abstracted art composed of a bored and likely ADHD kindergardener who has yet to learn how to stay in the lines.

I wish to be like such elaborate and complicated masterpieces. Those that hang on the wall and is lit ever so dimly by the gallery’s lights. Those that the viewer stares in awe over or sits for a moment in divine contemplation or even whips out a notebook and attempts to mimic the wonder.

But no.

I am here on a crowded desk surrounded by cheap glitter and safety scissors. I laugh even as I type the words, not content in my condition but accepting of it. I have also been told that ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ and ‘all things are beautiful’. I ask, what could possibly be beautiful about me? Interesting, maybe; fun, sure!; appealing, slightly... but beautiful?

Beautiful...